My Funny Valentine: When Divorce Proceedings Bring a Couple Back Together

By Lisa G. Moore of Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, P.C.

When most people think about divorce, they think it resembles a plot from The War of the Roses, or Kramer vs. Kramer—where couples spend their time fighting over money, children, or both.

But sometimes something altogether unexpected happens when couples start the dissolution process—they realize they want to save their marriage. 

The road toward divorce often begins with a physical separation, which for some can give needed breathing room, but also a glimpse into what life will be like without their spouse. Living alone can be a harsh dose of reality with changes in lifestyle,  juggling new child care routines and custody schedules. For some people they gain a new perspective and what was once an insurmountable issue or character flaw, may now be something that each party is willing to overcome in order to make their marriage work.

Dissolution can be a long process with many stages—during which feelings can change.  The adversarial process will typically cause more emotion and strain and once clients begin the litigation process, it can be very hard to reconcile. Divorce—or the threat of filing divorce—should never be used as a way to bargain with a spouse, or a way to get a spouse to change, to “make them understand I really mean it this time.” Bluffs only work once and divorce is not a game to be played like chicken.

Only an experienced and knowledgeable attorney who practices extensively with families in high conflict and highly emotional cases can successfully help families navigate the details of litigation, and even the possibilities of reconciliation.  The attorneys at Paule, Camazine and Blumenthal have had extensive experience in steering families through the difficult divorce process—and have even helped to bring some families back together. 

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