Love In Ladue; Five Ways to Avoid Looking Desperate
Desperation repels the ones you want to attract.
No matter how confident you are most of the time, there are days when you feel a little lonely and desperate. Maybe someone just ripped your heart right out of your chest and it is scattered into a million tiny pieces on the floor.
Or, maybe you are the only one amongst your circle of friends flying solo. And it’s date night. Your friends, all couples, want you to go out, but you are alone yet again.
Sometimes, feeling lonely and desperate is unavoidable; how you handle those feelings is up to you.
Regardless of the reason, desperation is not the best way to get the attention of the opposite sex. That cutie pie you want so badly to attract will run far, far, away at the smell of desperation. It stinks like old gym shorts.
Recently, I was out on the town and observed a woman who reeked of desperation. She tried everything, including showing a fair amount of cleavage and leg to get the attention of the poor guy she desperately longed for. Neither her long silky hair nor her stilettos fazed him.
My friend and I watched from a few feet away. We couldn’t help but watch the show. It played out like a movie. It was a mixture of a tear-jerker drama and a knee-slapping comedy. Mostly, it was pitiful.
It wasn’t that she was unattractive, she was pretty enough. It was much deeper than her skin.
Every time the poor guy moved she was like his shadow, mirroring his every move. At one point she reached over and gave his arm a little rub that graduated to his back. He quickly, but gently took her by the arm and literally held her at arms length. He was nice about it, but direct. There was no mistake he was not interested. She did not read his clues; she kept trying.
Here are a few tips on how not look desperate. Follow these tips and see what happens in your love life.
- Being available all of the time
Keeping your calendar open sends the wrong message and is a big mistake. If you are always available, you will appear to have no life, no friends, and desperate for companionship. Continue to do the things you enjoy. You will appear more interesting.
- Needing to know all of the details about his/her day
Expecting to know how your new love interests spends his/her time every minute of the day or who he/she is with all of the time will only make you appear insecure and controlling. It takes time to know details about another person. Let it happen naturally.
- Going along with everything
Being flexible is a great quality to have in a relationship. But when your flexible goes beyond reasonable to the next level and you will do anything to please the other person you loose your individuality and you come across as needy and wimpy. It’s good to set boundaries in a relationship and let him/her know what you like and don’t like. Your love interest will appreciate you for being yourself.
- Initiating Texts or phone calls all day
Of course you want to show the new special someone in you life you are interested. Go ahead text a couple of times a day. But, be careful not to overdo it. Texting or calling several times per hour says, “I’m an insecure stalker and I’m desperate.”
- Giving it up too soon
Getting physical too early in a relationship can kill any chances of true intimacy. Emotional intimacy builds over time as you get to know each other. If you have sex on the first or second date it could look like that is all you are interested in.